And I’ll be at the doctor having to tell him that I have all the hallmarks of depression.

The long slow periods when no one is around and I just sit there and stare at a screen. Can’t even get motivated to read and I love to read passionately.

The crying jags for no reason.

I’m completely lethargic.

Constantly apathetic because being negative takes too much energy and being positive feels like a lie.

But I’m also going to tell him that I get tingling, numbness and pain in my left arm

I can not eat for days then eat everything in sight for days.

My weight refuses to get steady or make sense.

I’m getting vertigo heaps.

My bones and muscles are painful and achey.

I’m scared he’s just going to put me on anti-depressants. I’m scared he won’t listen, that he’ll just look at my history and drug me up.

I’m praying for hyperparathyroidism which runs in my family and can explain all the symptoms. I’m praying it’s not depression. I don’t think I can cope if it’s depression.