I’ve been there too. I’ve had BPD and Bulimia.  I’ve cut myself. I’ve taken overdoses. I’ve been in a psychiatric facility for 3 months because I was at severe risk of killing myself. 

We do pick parts of the Bible selectively. But the word repent has been misinterpreted so many times.  Coming into agreement with God, trusting Him, letting Him do the work in you. If you try to ‘repent’ in your sense of the word on your own in your strength, you’ll probably fail. Then feel worse. The be pushed once again into the downward spiral. 

God is a God of miracles, no denying. That I’m still here is a miracle. That I’m healed. That He keeps healing me. He loves us SO MUCH. He’s our Father. Daddy. And he doesn’t stop loving us. We do have to put on the Armour daily, and use it daily. We do. 

But you are not perfect. I am not perfect. Sin is sin in the eyes of God. There’s not worse sin, sin you can get away with… there’s no comparison of holiness. We are righteous and worthy because of Jesus no matter who we are and what we’ve done. If we choose to LOVE Jesus, and walk with Him, that’s what counts. Not our ability to stop sin completely. Have you? Do you never sin? Never an impure thought? Never a curse word? Never spoken harshly in anger? No. You try not to, but sometimes you screw up like the rest of us. 

Jesus died for ALL of our sins. ALL OF THEM. He covers us. He’s the Lamb that was slain, sacrificed for ALL SINS. Not just some of them. And in the tradition of the Law, sacrifice meant the blameless lame was seen instead of the sinful man. So when God looks at us, he sees Jesus. White and pure. Jesus made us holy and righteous NO  MATTER what we’ve done or who we are. 

He can heal us. IN HIS TIME. It’s unfair of you to say it’s a lack of faith or will or wanting it or needing it. 

I was a Christian during my incarceration. I wasn’t a ‘good one’. I was a desperate one. I knew only God could save me. But I self-harmed for 7 years, praying every single day for healing. And failing every day to be healed. So don’t you dare tell me that I didn’t love God, that I wasn’t a real Christian. I was a struggling, war-weary soldier and I made it through by the Grace of God. 

I’ve read the Bible cover to cover and God is not a God of condemnation. And that’s what you’ve made him into by saying that someone can’t really be saved or really be a Christian while they are still sinning. And that’s wrong.